1984 Follow Up

Alright. Well, I finished 1984. Actually I finished it a while ago. But I never reported on it like I said I would. But now I am:

 I loved it. I loved it so much. I loved the description but not even that I loved Winston's thoughts. I loved being able to have his world described to me in a way that was not fact, but instead as how he viewed it. I enjoyed much of the rawness of what was said. How he wanted to smash Julia's head in and rape her and how he felt a little bad about it but not really because that's what he wanted to do and that that was the world he lived in. What I loved more than anything, though, was that there was no happy ending. There was nothing spectacular about Winston and Julia's end. They turned out exactly like anyone else who'd committed thoughtcrime and I loved it. I loved that it made absolutely perfect sense. In reality, Winston could never have taken down the party. In the book, Winston wasn't able to take down the party. It was realistic. It was what should have happened, yet while I was reading it I was certain that that couldn't be the way it was going to turn out because that's just not how it works. Books have happy endings. Everyone knows that. The protagonist comes through in the end, against all odds, to save the day. When that doesn't happen I think as readers we feel cheated, but that's what I like about it. Because really, we're only being cheated when we're given a happy ending.

Well...

Friend 1: you guys believe in a Heavenly Father, right?

Friend 2: yeah. 

Friend 1: so what about a heavenly mother?

Friend 2: uhhh-

Friend 1: well, I know who it is. 

Friend 2: what?

Friend 1: it's Sarah Pailin. 

Friend 2: no it's not. 

Friend 1: yeah cuz you see-

Friend 2: I don't even want to listen to you right now. 

Friend 1: no you gotta hear me out-

Friend 2: *walks away.*

Friend 1: but... you didn't even listen to my reasoning behind it.

Here I go again.

And of a sudden I thought, "What if he's doing the same thing? What if he's only ignoring me because he thinks I don't like him and he doesn't want to get hurt? What if this isn't hopeless and maybe one day he could love me back just like I love him!?" And of a sudden, somewhere deep inside me, my heart started crying and said, "For God's sake can't we let this go? I'm tired of breaking..."